Stuffed Pigs and Baby Pictures
by Owen and Crow
Summary: Face the horrors of the Cullen's attic with Bella Swan, Great Adventurer! Follow us to discover strange family secrets, items of nonuse, pigs, and...well more.
1. So Piggy As She Goes

**Disclaimer: Owen and I do not own the characters of Twilight. We do, however, own whatever is in the attic. This is OWENS IDEA, NOT MINE! I am Crow. I come up with most ideas, Owen writes them. Let us continue.**

Chapter 1  
The Electrifying Horrifying  
It was a dark and stormy day in Forks, Washington (per usual).Bella was sitting at home spinning around and around in her computer chair, bored to the skull. Edward and the rest of the Cullen's have decided to go camping today and she was sitting at home waiting for them. This reminded her of another time when she was at the Cullen's mansion.  
FLASHBACK PEOPLE!

_Bella was in Edward's room, sitting on his lap while he lounged back comfortably on the couch, playing absentmindedly with her brown locks.__"So, Bella. What shall we do to pass the time until the storm settles?" he asked her.__Bella had to think about it for a minute. She never explored the rest of the Cullen mansion. She never really went farther than the kitchen or Edward's room. Even with Edward's first tour of the house, when she met the rest of the family, he only allowed her glimpses of other rooms.__"Why don't you show me the rest of the house?" she asked. It was a perfectly innocent question. Or so she thought at least.__As if in answer to her suggestion, Carlisle suddenly poked his head through the doorway and shouted cautiously, "DON'T GO INTO THE ATTIC!" Then he was gone.__Bella looked at Edward with wide eyes.__"What was that all about?" she asked. She never saw Carlisle panic like that before. She probably would have never gone in the attic anyways. She never knew they had one. Figures though, she thought at the time.__Edward looked at her and smiled his pearly whites sweetly, as if it was nothing special.__"Nothing!" __He said it too quickly and Bella instantly knew something was up. Somehow from then on, Alice heard about Bella's bored ness and decided to play "BARBIE", to Bella's horror and discomfort._

END FLASHBACK  
"You know what?" Bella asked aloud, to no one. "I am going to see what is up with that attic!"As if you never guessed that she would eventually.Besides, what could Edward and the others be hiding from her now? There was too much mystery to that family. Even if they _were_ vampires. Bella got on her raincoat and grabbed her keys. She left a note for Charlie, who was out on a road trip with a few of his buddies from the police station, and went outside. Her red truck sat in the driveway dutifully, patient even. The rain pounded against the windshield when Bella got into the truck and revved up the clunky and cranky engine, which moaned in protest as she drove out and onto the road. By now, going to the Cullen's place was as easy as counting to ten. She didn't even miss the turn off anymore. She was infinitely happy at that outcome.Her Chevy chugged up the Cullen's driveway, as lightning and thunder clashed above. She knew they weren't there, so she was confident that she wouldn't get caught doing something 'naughty'.

The house was dark and empty and completely terrifying in the dark. Quickly, Bella flicked on some lights. Her task was ahead, and she set herself determinedly up the stairs, stumbling and tripping on the way. Finally, she reached the stairs to the attic. Slowly she ascended the creaky steps and opened the latch in the ceiling that led up to the room above. The moment of truth had come. It smelt damp. That Bella could tell. But she couldn't see anything. She groped the air above her to see if there was a chain that could turn on a light. Finally, after much tripping over unseen objects, she found the switch.

And came face to face with a beady eyed pig.  
_ End of Chapter...to be continued._

**Review review review! I seem to like that word. But anyways, I also seem to be quite proud of the story!Press the purple button and win! heheh. Owen won't be back until the weekend, (Tomorrow) just so you know. You're stuck with me now! MUAHAHAHAHA-coughcough- ahem...well, press the button, now. Please?  
**


	2. Attack of the Spork Obsessed Veggies

**Yeah…I sort of haven't even **_**looked**_** at doing this. Too many things at the orphanage to keep me busy. Not to mention I don't get the computer a whole lot because Mathias steals it to send irritating letters to his friends and piss everyone off --**

_**Anyways**_**, please enjoy this chapter of Stuffed Pigs and Baby Pictures without further interruption. I have to go find Crow to prevent her from ruining my life with a psychotherapist. Bye-bye!**

* * *

Previously:

_The house was dark and empty and completely terrifying in the dark. Quickly, Bella flicked on some lights. Her task was ahead, and she set herself determinedly up the stairs, stumbling and tripping on the way. Finally, she reached the stairs to the attic. Slowly she ascended the creaky steps and opened the latch in the ceiling that led up to the room above. The moment of truth had come. It smelt damp. That Bella could tell. But she couldn't see anything. She groped the air above her to see if there was a chain that could turn on a light. Finally, after much tripping over unseen objects, she found the switch._

_And came face to face with a beady eyed pig._

* * *

Chapter 2

Attack of the Spork-Obsessed Veggies…(Of Doom)

Bella belted her lungs out as she screamed in her high, shrill, girly falsetto scream. It was not totally unexpected, being in a mansion that houses a blood-thirsty clan of 'vegetarian' vampires. But that wasn't the point. The point was that there was a snout of a giant boar hanging right in front of Bella's face. As to why it was there, that was yet to be discovered.

"Why the heck is there a _PIG?_" Bella yelled to no one in particular, as she stepped away from the creepy stuffed animal. She managed on tripping on a loose shoelace and falling flat on her face. How graceful.

As she lifted her head, she saw a cardboard box right in front of her that read 'Never Open: Carlisle's Box'. Curious, as Bella so ever was, she stood up, brushed off the thick layer of dust on her, and looked down onto the 'forbidden' box.

"What could Carlisle possibly want to hide?" Bella asked herself. Why she was talking to herself, it was probably because seeing as no one was there, her questions would not be answered by some sarcastic remark of the Cullen family.

_But really…if I am going to be a part of this family…_Bella grinned an uncharacteristic evil grin_…Then there should be no secrets to hide between us. _

With a not so sane Bella with her curiosity taking over, she ripped open the taped box- and frowned. There was nothing inside of it. It made no sense. So she- no wait. She squinted into the deep darkness of the box and saw that there was indeed something in it.

A sheet of paper- which Bella carefully drew out- was inscribed with perfect hand writing. _Must be Carlisle's…hmmm…_

_**To those who have opened this box, look no further. Only glance around this attack and face the horrors of our past. If you so insistently want to ignore the label of this box and the warnings of this letter, then I must tell you that you shall meet your end. As to how, only you will know.**_

_Wow…this reminds me of a horror movie. The innocent, dense victim reads this warning and then gets attacked from behind as they're distract- _

Bella's drawling thoughts were interrupted as she was knocked down from behind. She fell into the box, her face meeting the bottom the musty smelling cardboard, and her lower half kicking as she tried to right herself back up again. But to no avail. She was shoved completely into the box and she could hear squeaky yells of triumph.

"The booboo monster is locked up in the eternal pit of darkness everyone! We are finally free! And we will find our sporks somewhere in this great cavern!" a voice shouted out. It reminded Bella of Alvin from the _Alvin and the Chipmunks_ movies. There were many squeaky yells of agreement to this horrifying/hilariously said statement. There was a padding across the top of the box and Bella guessed that they (whoever the heck _they_ were, evil mutants or something) were marching right over her head.

_So THIS is the end Carlisle forewarned about? What the heck is this? A chipmunk invasion?_

Bella grunted as she kicked her legs out to the side of the cardboard box and ripped open the side. There were many emitted shrieks of terror as she finally stood up. She was panting, because she was having a hard time breathing in an air-confined space.

But how was this so? What the heck was going on? Eventually, the squeaks and cheers faded and Bella took this opportunity to desperately free herself.

Fifteen minutes and eight bruises later, she managed to kick open the box and make a hole large enough in the side. She thought she was going to suffocate, choke on her own hair or something stupid like that. And also, she had developed a quickly growing symptom of claustrophobia. She wanted out of the attic…_now_.

She clattered and tripped virtually over everything in sight and screamed and struggled. It was as if the museum of the Cullen's long collected crap and odds of sods were trying to take her and make her become part of the display.

By some miracle, she found her feet and ran out the door- only to trip over something and fall flat on her face…again.

"The booboo monster has fallen for the trap!" an eerily familiar voice boomed. "Get her!"

Bella looked up and paled. She would have laughed, if not for the many running vegetables toward her.

Emmett was wearing war paint on his face along with a two meter tall…spork, laughing like a maniac.

"Emmett, what the h-"

Her attempt at asking for an explanation were stopped as these…mutant veggie things (of doom) came down on her like sauce on spaghetti, tying wire and rope so quickly you couldn't blink twice.

Emmett bent down and smiled gleefully at Bella.

"Like my pets? I hid them in the attic all this while. Alice explained how a vision of you being attacked by my minions would land you in a situation like this. Carlisle and Esme told me not to…_but_ I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions! So I made vampire vegetables!"

What. The. Hell?

_First pigs, then boxes, now vampiric food? What the hell is going on?_

Wouldn't Isabella love to know?

* * *

**Sorry, I have to go.**

**There's a cow hanging out the window. Please review! Arigato! **

**Owen&Crow**


End file.
